Where Is Caton Contest 2: Know Your Namibian Road Signs!

For the typical American, driving through Namibia is an entirely new experience in every sense. First, the roadways aren't littered with McDonald's restaurants. Horror of horrors! 

More importantly, driving cross-country takes true courage, much like driving cross-country in America during the 1930s. One doesn't simply hop in the car and motor off into the horizon, complacently certain that all will go smoothly. Well, you could, but you'd be dead wrong. Rather, you're forced to consider basic survival measures: Are your tires properly inflated? Should a tire (or two) go flat, have you got a can of tire repair fluid? Should you break down in the middle of the desert, do you have sufficient water to satiate your thirst for at least a day? Have you got enough fuel (there won't be any along the way)? Is it likely that the roads on your map are safely traversable in a Volkswagen Polo? Do you have any CDs comprised of anything other than the horrific German-language country music that litters Namibian music shops?

Then, there are the road signs. Fortunately, most are written in English, so they're at least legible, even if they are inaccurate. I once drove 45 minutes at 140 kilometers per hour to reach a town that signs insisted was 35 kilometers away. This is where a great many of you will roll your eyes and say, "I'm from America, Caton. I don't know kilometers." Come now. Does that make any difference? You don't have to understand the metric system to spot the fallacy in that Namibian sign posting.

While the road signs may be written in English, that doesn't make many of them any more intelligible. That's where you come in. To help introduce you to the adventures of Namibian driving, I've decided to hold a contest: Know Your Namibian Road Signs!

How the game works:
Below, you'll see a column of photos depicting road signs that I passed in Namibia. You'll also see some really bad guesses that I took at the meaning of each of the signs. Your task is to guess the true meaning of each road sign.

How to play:
Send me an email at catonwalker@gmail.com that guesses the meaning of each of the road signs numbered 1 through 5 (Hint: I've already given you one of them).

Send in your responses by Friday, August 8, 2008! Once I receive all emails, contest results and winners will be posted on www.whereiscaton.com! Everyone is "encouraged" to play! Or else you'll be forced to drive across the Namib desert. Alone, and without sufficient fuel!

1	Beware: Undead Bisected Man About
2	Caution: Erroneous Tic-Tac-Toe Board Ahead.
3	Mis-shapen Plus Sign (+) Ahead
4	Beware of Discolored Punctation
5	Caution: Warthogs

Name That Poo! Contest Winner!

Thanks to everyone that emailed their entries to the Where is Caton Contest: Name That Poo! I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner! Though I had many spirited attempts, none got more than 3 out of 5 correct, save one. Melanie of Minnesota, USA got a perfect score!

Congratulations to Melanie. She really knows her sh**!

By the way, the correct answers were as follows:

1B: That isn't an entire elephant dung; it's just a piece (I couldn't possibly pick up the whole thing). The bits of wood (from tree bark) tell us that this had to come from an elephant.

2E: Lion scat will closely resemble that produced by your neighborhood dog or cat. In this example, it's clear that the lion had consumed a good deal of fur. The fur is clearly visible in this specimen.

3A: Despite its size, the Southern Giraffe produces remarkably small dung. It's a bit like a llama; the pieces are small, but they are quite numerous. Giraffe dung pieces have tell-tale indentations on both ends of their cylindrical shape.

4D: This wildebeest dung has been partly processed by resident dung beetles.

5C: Horrifying, I know!

Where is Caton Contest 1: Name that Poo!

While on our daily bush walks at safari field guide training (see previous post), the instructors placed heavy emphasis on two activities: (1) flagrantly forcing the students to risk heat stroke and (2) instructing the students on various methods of tracking wildlife. Experts (like my instructors) can track wildlife by taking note of obscure clues like broken twigs and misplaced mud. Laypeople (like me) are taught to rely on a more primal method of tracking wildlife - looking for wildlife excrement. In lay terms, "excrement" may be described simply as "poo." Whether you're an expert or a layperson, you should be familiar with this stuff. Naturally, I was. 

The course's emphasis on poo identification sometimes took questionable turns, such as our somewhat frequent Impala Dung Spitting Contests (that's exactly what it sounds like; participants insert a specimen in their mouths, then spit said specimen as far as possible). More often, however, our poo searching was comprised of more mundane activities. For instance, I learned that: (1) "dung" is produced by herbivores (e.g., elephants); (2) "scat" is produced by carnivores (e.g., lions); and (3) "feces" are produced by omnivores (e.g., you). I found this revelation rather troubling: If feces are produced exclusively by omnivores, then how can we use the verb "defecate" to describe the excretion activities of herbivores and omnivores? So, I implored my instructors to consider adopting a new verb for herbivores based on the word "dung" (deduncate). My suggestion was enthusiastically dismissed.

So, to help introduce you to the world of poo identification, I've decided to hold a contest: Name That Poo!

How the game works:
Below, you'll see two columns of photos. Photos 1-5 depict various types of poo. To the right, Photos A-E depict photos of the animals that produced the poos shown  in photos 1-5. Your task: Match the poo with the animal that made it!

How to play:
Send me an email at catonwalker@gmail.com that matches each of the poos 1-5 with the poo producers A-E (e.g., 1A, 5D, and so on). If you guess correctly, you may win exciting prizes, like the admiration of your friends and family. What's more, you may wish to revise your resume to include appropriate designations such as "poo enthusiast."

Send in your responses by Friday, June 6, 2008! Once I receive all emails, contest results and winners will be posted on www.whereiscaton.com! Everyone is encouraged to play! Even if you don't give a sh**.

1	A
2	B
3	C
4	D
5	E