Would you like to take that pen for a test write?

The Inca Trail trek left me mentally invigorated, but physically exhausted. So, I nearly fell into my bed at the Hotel Marqueses (Note: Both the hotel and my Inca Trail trek are operated by SAS Travel in Cusco, which is a fantastic outfitter in all respects). The next morning, I woke at a wholly unreasonable hour to return to Lima.

Upon my arrival in Lima, I found my way to the Hostal El Patio (photo at left) in the city's Miraflores district, which Andrew and Rosanna (mentioned in my prior post) had recommended. Like every other aspect of my Peru trip, it was sublime. Once there, I immediately set to pestering Isabel (who you'll likely remember from another prior post), who was home for the New Year. Naturally, Isabel was extremely gracious, and even seemed pleased that I was in Lima. If she wasn't, she at least gave an enviable performance. Either way, it was decided that she'd introduce me to some authentic Peruvian cuisine the following night.

To pass the time, I thought I'd tour the city, but first I wanted to send off some postcards. However, I had a small problem: I didn't have a pen. One might think that this problem could be easily rectified, but, alas, no. I piddled all over Miraflores trying to buy a pen, but all of the convenience store owners looked at me as if I were crazy for thinking that I might find a pen at a convenience store. For that, they explained, I'd need to find a pen store. A pen store?

As luck would have it, Miraflores does have a pen store, albeit a 15 minute walk from my hotel. I walked in, quite curious to see what a pen store looked like. As it would happen, it was an emporium approximately the size of a large convenience store. Except it was filled with glass counters, all of them bursting with pens. Apparently, the store had recently expanded their breadth of offerings; one of the glass counters displayed a dizzying variety of protractors. However, I didn't come to Lima to measure any angles, so I instead approached a saleswoman (who's ever heard of a pen saleswoman?) at the counter.

Me: Hello, do you have any pens that...

Saleswoman (interrupting me): We have all types of pens, sir.

Me: Yes, clearly. Well, I'd like a very simple black pen. I just want to write some postcards for friends in the US.

Saleswoman: What type of tip would you like?

Me: What?

Saleswoman: We have ballpoint pens, felt-tip pens, fountain pens, ....

Me (now it was my turn to interrupt): I just want a ballpoint, please.

Saleswoman: Of course. Fine point, medium point, or wide point?

Me: Um, medium I suppose. Do I have to make any more choices?

Saleswoman: No. You already told me you want black.

Me: Good.

Saleswoman (ushering me to another counter): Okay. This is our selection of black, medium ballpoint pens. Which one would you like?

Me: Ugh...

After (finally) selecting a pen, the woman took it out of the case and gingerly handed it to me as if it were a priceless Fabergé egg. In attempt to show the pen its due respect, I picked it up with both hands and carefully examined it. Of course, this was all for show; I had no interest in inspecting the pen. I just wanted to buy it and leave so I could get started on those postcards.

Me (pretending to be impressed): Very nice. I'll take it.

Saleswoman: Wait. You don't want to test it?

Me: I'm sorry?

Saleswoman (whipping out a blank piece of paper): You test the pen before you buy it.

Me: Um, okay.

So, I wrote my name a few times, pretending to carefully assess the pen's performance. Finally, I'd had enough:

Me: Okay, it's very nice. Can I buy it now?

Saleswoman: Of course!

Me (shuddering to ask the price given the complexity of this pen purchase transaction): And how much is it?

Saleswoman: One sole, please.

One sole? That's $0.30! All this for $0.30?

Me: Okay, here's one sole. Thank you!

Saleswoman: No, sir. You have to take this purchase order to the cashier counter. Pay there, then return to me, and I'll have it wrapped up for you. You then return to the cashier for inspection before you leave the store.

Oh geez...